Lost But Not Forgotten
by FantasySci5
Summary: Young Rimmer makes a friend, but loses one. Timeslides and Dimension Jump! Angst! Physical and Mental hurt! Updated!
1. Bullies in Hallways

Lost But Not Forgotten

This is, yes, another Young Rimmer. I bet this idea has been copied MANY times, and I'm just the next in line. People STILL think Rimmer is a smeghead, and he is. But he didn't wake up one morning and become hard and smeggy.

SUMMARY: Rimmer makes a friend, while one very close to him, is lost.

(What happens at the beginning of Dimension Jump) Set as flashback to his past, but at the end, after a bit from Timeslides , Dimension Jump, and then Terrorform. I don't own.

FantasySci5

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Arnold J. Rimmer quickly dodged the crowd of people who weren't in a particularly hurry to get to class. He didn't bother go to his locker, because he knew what was waiting for him there. He was carrying everything he needed, and books he didn't need. If he went to his locker, to put up the books because he didn't have those classes today, he would run into his fear. One of his fears.

One of the upper-classman bullies, Dave Killerthy, would be waiting there, demanding the homework Arnie was supposed to do for him, but didn't. Not like it mattered. Dave would find him. Even if he did give him the homework, Dave would still beat him up.

A person passed by Arnie, whispering in his ear, "Dave Killer gonna get you, Bonehead."

Arnie winced, hearing people around him snicker. Since Dave's last name just happened to be Killerthy, his nickname wasn't that hard to figure out.

He hated it when people called him, 'Bonehead', but he had long since stopped trying to make them call him 'Ace', or just to stop calling him that.

He heard the foot-falls of boots, and only one person in the school wore boots. Arnie hadn't tried to run since a long time. So, he just turned around slowly, and faced the person that made his world miserable.

Dave walked up to him, casually flipping his dead black hair out of his hair. "Well, well, well. What do we have here, boys!" He whispered t his two goons, who followed him around everywhere, like loyal dogs. The boys snickered, as they advanced on the much smaller boy.

Arnie was 7 years old, in Junior D, while the other 3 boys, where 14 years old, in a much higher class. "Guys, remind me. Didn't little Arnold hear promise to finish my homework! Well, Bonehead? Where is it!" He whispered, coming up on the boy as a predator would sneak up to it's prey.

"I...I...I.." Arnie stammered, as he desperately wished there was a way to escape, or a teacher would walk by.

"Hum. I think you need to work a little better on your grammar." Dave said, as he shoved Arnie to a wall, crushing the boy's ribs underneath the pressure of the set of hands. Arnie hazily watched as the other two side-kicks watched for approaching threats. Like teachers.

"Well, since you've been a very bad boy, I think I should give you a lesson. Here, you can pay me. Carrying any money, Bonehead!" He whispered in Arnie's ear, as he shoved his palms deeper into Arnie's small form, shaking him violently.

"Psst! Trouble coming!" One of the goons whispered urgently to the leader, who was currently beating Arnie to a pulp.

"We will continue this lesson later, Bonehead. Class dismissed!" Dave said, shoving Arnie harder into the wall. He pushed off him, and walked quickly the other way. A teacher was moving down the hallway, quickly shuffling through.

"Mr. Rimmer!" The shrill voice yelled across the remaining distance between the two. The bell rang loudly, making the hallway shake.

"What are you doing! Don't just stand there, you're late to class! Mrs. Kaffle will be furious!" She scolded the boy, who was keeping his eyes shut, to keep the hot tears from coming down, as he picked up his dropped books, that were in his shoulder bag. Tears were a sign of weakness.

"Look at me!" She shouted. For the next 5 minutes, she punished Arnie, with a full week of detention. Then, she scoffed off, leaving a very hurt kid. He nursed his aching ribs as he stumbled to his class, 6 minutes late.

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Hi! I have a LONG flash back, and it will take all of the chapters but (about) 2. Makes you really sad, doesn't it! Well, more Angst coming right up!


	2. Class

Lost But Not Forgotten-Part 2

Well, here is his class! Thanks for sticking with this story! (Although I posted these 2 chapters at the same time!)

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Arnie slowly walked through the hallway, heading toward his class, 7 minutes late. He didn't want to rush, because he knew what horror waited there.

He had long since told about the beatings, the bullies ganging up on him. Teachers wouldn't believe him, and afterwards, he would get beaten harder, for trying to tell. So, he tried to hide the clues to his Hell.

First, he pressed on his nose, as he felt warm blood run over his fingers. He pressed harder, until he felt a block, so it wouldn't bleed yet.

He put two delicate fingers to his eye, and felt a large welt coming up. There was no way he could hide that, so he would just keep his head down. He pressed his lip, until it stopped bleeding. Nothing below that was bleeding, so it couldn't be seen. But his ribs hurt when he moved and breathed.

He neared his classroom, and readjusted the shoulder strap of his bag. He took a deep breath, and opened the door.

Heads of everyone shot up, all looking at him with distaste. The students were bending over thick packets of paper, as Mrs. Kaffle stood up.

"Back to work everyone!" She stated, her warm voice turned cold as she eyed Arnie.

"Well, Mr. Rimmer. You better have a good reason why you're late. No!" She said as Arnie shook his head, his eyes looking down the whole time.

"Go sit down." She hissed as he made his way to his desk, in the front.

"Now, before we were so rudely interrupted, we were taking our final, that we have been preparing for, for weeks! We are nearing the end of the year, with only a few weeks left. This test is a big part of your grade, so don't blow it off." She stated to the class.

She walked over to Arnie, and flipped a packet on his desk. "Take 10 points off your test for arriving late, and you have a week of detention."

Arnie sighed, repositioning his bag on the floor beside his feet. He took out his pencil, and wrote his name on the paper. 'Arnie J. Rimmer'

He looked at the first question, and had to rub his not swollen eye. It looked like gobblety-gook. He felt something slam into the back of his head, and it took all of his being not to let out a whimper.

"Hey, Bonehead!" Whispered Johnny Kicks. Johnny used to be the only one that didn't make fun of Arnie, (He hadn't said anything), but he had fell into the flow, and was like everyone else.

Arnie tried to ignore him, and focus on his paper, but Johnny smacked him on his head. 'Why did the teacher have to be deep in her book at the moment!' Arnie thought.

Johnny was the bully of Arnie's age, and class. And Arnie was the subject of most of their hurtful words, fists, and pranks.

"Shh! Not now!" Arnie whispered back. "What, scared!" Johnny answered back, smiling at the squirming boy in front of him.

Arnie turned around, and continued with his test, which he hadn't answered 1 question yet.

The teacher put down her book, and started walking around the classroom, making sure no one cheated. No one was stupid enough to try and pull something on Arnold when the teacher would be right there.

Time ticked by, while Arnie filled in question by question. He used to be smart, but that had brung on the bullies. They threatened to beat him, and other not so good stuff, if he got good grades. Arnie thought if he dumbed down, they wouldn't hate him because he was smart, and they wouldn't demand him to do their homework.

Little did Arnie know that dumb-ing himself down, would become permanent. Arnie wasn't brilliant at first, just a hard worker, who got a few questions right. But the constant pressure from his parents was nerve-wracking enough to make him plunge down to the murky depths of 'F' for fail.

Arnie was breezing through the test, with a few blanks, but he didn't think he was doing too bad. He was on his last page of the test, when Johnny grabbed his notebook, and swung it as hard as he could at Arnie's head. Arnie had turned his head to the left, about to look for another pencil in his bag, because he had broken the tip of his pencil. When the hit fell, Arnie screamed, and bit his lip to keep from crying.

The teacher whipped around, and yelled, "Arnold Rimmer! Out in the hallway, NOW!" Rimmer collected his bag and test, and sludged to the door. He heard his peers giggle, and whisper, "Wow! Bonehead gets in trouble everyday!"

But Mrs. Kaffle didn't yell at them for talking, or send Johnny outside, either. She marched Arnie to the door, but didn't signal for him to go outside. 'Oh, great.' Arnie thought. This was going to be a 'corner scold', just enough inside so that everyone in the class could hear, then tell everyone in the school what happened. It didn't matter; if it happened outside, everyone in the school would still find out.

"Not only did you come in late," Mrs. Kaffle started, shaking her head and keeping her temper in check, "You interrupted this class, taking a very important test! You also were cheating. To be truthfully honest, I didn't expect any better from you."

Arnie let his head and eyes wonder down, as the words sunk in. When he was reaching for a new pencil, she must have thought he was looking on the guy's paper next to him. he didn't expect better from him? Those words stung; that they didn't even give him a chance.

"Onto the week of detention for coming to my class late, you will serve another week of detention for disrupting the class. You automatically get a 0 F- on this test. That means you must pass our next test, to pass my class, and the grade. If it was up to me, you would already be out of the running to pass, but as it is, It's not my decision. Now, go to the Headmaster. Explain everything to him, and give him this." She handed Arnie a piece of paper.

"It explains what all happened today." She explained to him, the pointed to the door. He opened the door and walked out as he heard the people behind him snigger.

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Wow! He got in a LOT of trouble, and it wasn't his fault. I'm trying to tell you why he is such an A+ Smeghead! I might have gone over the top, but he must have had a BAD childhood, to become...the Rimmer we know.

The phrase about, 'plunged down to the murky depths of 'F' for fail.' was sort of from the 1st book, 'Infinity Welcomes Careful Drivers', in Chapter 12 of Part One, Your own death, and how to cope with it. Page 63. I just wanted to add that, because that is one of my favorite chapters, that explain about Poor Arnie.

I like the name, 'Arnie', so I say that instead of 'Rimmer'.

Coming up in the next chapter, is the Headmaster's (Or Principal's) office scene.


	3. Headmaster's Office

Lost But Not Forgotten-Part 3

Ah, the Headmaster. If your worrying, it's not going to be over yet. I still want him to have a scene with his brothers and parents. Sorry, if you think this is a long 'flashback'. This story is MOSTLY about his past, except his thoughts after 'Terrorform', and during 'Dimension Jump'.

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Arnie dragged himself down the long hallway, thinking that this day was going to be one of those very bad days.

He came to the end of the tunnel-like hallways, and saw the 2 largest doors in the school. One, was the Headmaster's office, and stood looming over everything. The other was opposite it; the doors out of the school.

They were complete opposites. One was to Hell itself, and the other was the gateway to freedom. One was to a stuffy, small room, which made you bit your nails because of the waiting for your punishment. The other had a large open space on the other side, which made you sigh with contentment for your reward.

Arnie seriously considered taking the latter one, and go to the large outdoors. But, with a heavy heart, he chose the Headmaster's office. He would soon be able to go through the other set of doors. Today was Friday, and the boarding school, Io House, let their students go home for the weekend. But that was not freedom for Arnie, because it was as worse as at school.

As Arnie opened the large oak doors, the secretary looked up, and a look of disgust came upon her old face. "Arnold Rimmer. I should have known it was you. In fact, I think I did know! In trouble, again! Doesn't surprise me. The Headmaster will be with you shortly."

Arnie sighed, quiet enough so the secretary wouldn't hear him. He had been to the Headmaster's office too many times to count, and everyone knew it was him, 99.9 of the time. He knew, by heart, every detail of the bare room, leading to the Headmaster's office. It was bare wood, with only the secretary's desk, full of papers, and a single picture on the far wall from both the door to the Headmaster's office, and the school, and the desk. It was a picture of the current Headmaster, posing for the camera, in his best stern pose.

Arnie did a double take when he saw a relatively new plastic chair in the middle of the room. Noticing Arnold's curiosity, the secretary said, "We got a chair, for customers like you. Actually it probably is for you, because we don't have that many people stop by."

Arnie was about to sit down, when the metal door to the Headmaster's office opened, and the head of the Headmaster himself, popped out.

"Who's next! Ah, Mr. Rimmer. Come in." He said in a flat voice, sighing at the same time.

Arnie nodded a small nod, then shuffled forward. The Headmaster ushered him in, and pointed for him to sit in a chair across from the large metal desk. Arnie handed, with a shaking hand, the letter from Mrs. Kaffle.

The Headmaster took it, and skimmed through it, shaking his head the whole time. "Arnold, do sit down." He huffed, as he sat, very stiff in his large plush chair on the other side of the desk. Arnie fidgeted in his seat, waiting for the Headmaster to say something, anything.

The Headmaster shook his head, then started. "Arnold, it says here that you have gotten 3 weeks detentions, and all before the first class started! Mrs. Kaffle said you were 7 minutes late to her class, then disturbed her class while taking a test!"

Arnie tried to listen, but he had heard this speech so many times, that it was in one ear and out the other. He was watching the green mirror behind the Headmaster, so the Headmaster would think he was paying attention and looking.

It was an oval shape mirror, with silver lining surrounding it, that glittered in the early morning light. The actual mirror was lime green, that had a bit of yellow in it, and sparkled and shinned, showing from every angle, every detail. Arnie saw his tufted hair, sticking every which way. He saw his tired eyes, the swollen lip, the worn out, torn sweater, that hung loosely on his small form.

"Arnold, Mrs. Kaffle may have gone a little overboard, and gave you a little more punishment than you deserve. She has just been informed of some disturbing news. She's getting fired tonight, and she may have been lashing out at you."

"And, since the school year is almost over, I really don't want to have to preside over detentions anymore. But, since you must be punished, you will only serve one week of detention, and I will send a letter home, explaining what has been going on." The loud bell shrilled as he finished, as the relieved Arnie let out a breath he hadn't known he had been holding.

"You may go to your next class. I hope you don't have to be back in here for the rest of the year, Arnold."

Arnie shuffled to the door, nodded to the Headmaster, then bolted for his next class.

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Hi! I live in the United States, so, at least I, haven't a clue for a boarding school. In the episode, 'Timeslides', we see Rimmer in a boarding school (You know, the whole 'Thicky Holden' thing!) I took that he had different teachers for different classes from Harry Potter, because Hogwarts was a boarding school, and had different teachers. But, since Rimmer is very young, I'm hoping that the age issues aren't an issue. If he was that young, he might have only one teacher, but I'm not sure. I didn't have different teachers until Middle School (Junior High). Whatever. If you can clear this up for me, please do.


	4. Meeting a Friend

Lost But Not Forgotten-Part 4

Hi! Well, here is the rest of his day. Sorry, but I want to write about his past. But, he's gonna get a visit from himself in the future (And something about a 'Tension Sheet'), and, we're gonna see the merge of Ace and Arnold, and see who died. I gave A LOT away right there, but hopefully, you're confused. Don't worry, you will find out!

Um, slight change of plans. This story will not 'feature' Terrorform, like I said it would. I put my ideas on that subject in another fan fiction, called Hurt. So, there will be everything else like the friend and death, but no Terrorform. Make sense? No? Tough...

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Arnie went through the rest of his day, avoiding any person that could make trouble for him; so mostly, everyone. No one bothered him in the rest of his morning classes. He thought he might just make it through the rest of the day without another incident. But, like always, Arnold J. Rimmer was never that lucky. 

It was lunch time, as Arnie trudged to his table, a tray of meager food in his hands. It wasn't like the people at school didn't supply him with enough food, but Arnie never ate much. When he first ate with other people, his parents and his brothers, it hadn't gone so well. He must have been really young, but it still happened now.

When his parents weren't looking, his three brothers would steal all of his food, then his mother would think he was unappreciative of her cooking, then ground him.

When he had gone to boarding school, people would make fun of what he was eating, or just take it. So, Arnie ate little.

He sat down at his normal table, that no one else sat at. He stared at his food, picking lightly at it. He listened to everyone else laugh, not a care in the world. Lucky.

Even though today was Friday, the students would have only one day to go home for the holidays, then they would have to come back. Arnie didn't know what he hated and dreaded more; school or home?

Arnie listened as someone headed straight for his table. Arnie looked deeper into his food, hoping they would just walk past. But the person sat down their tray of food next to his, and sat down.

There wasn't much pressure on the bench, so he didn't think it was a bully. But Arnie was to afraid to look up. A girl cleared her throat, so finally Arnie looked up. A pretty 7 year old looked back at him, with wide innocent eyes.

"Hello!" She said cheerfully, reaching her hand towards his, as if to shake it. "Hi." He said, shaking her hand, then dropped it quickly.

"I'm Katie." She said, smiling as she took a drink from her juice box. "Arnold." He said, looking at her. She had curly dark brown hair, blue eyes, and a large smile. She didn't look like a bully.

"Yeah, my parents sent me here, because this is the only boarding school that will accept people as young as us." Arnold nodded. His parents were glad to get rid of him, and the sooner the better. As soon as he had reached the required age, they dumped him here without a second glance.

"Would you like to be friends?" Katie asked, pushing her piece of chocolate cake toward him. Was this a trick? Did she really want to be his friend, or was she trying to get him to trust her, than stab him in the back?

Didn't she know that if she hung out with him, she would be bullied, too? "Okay." He said, waiting for her to say something mean, or hit him.

He clenched his eyes shut, waiting for some kind of pain. "What are you doing?" She asked. Opening one eye, he saw that she hadn't moved to hit him, or even looked like she was going to do anything.

"Aren't you going to hit me, or laugh in my face for believing you, that you would be my friend?" Katie laughed, then shook her head. "Of course not! I really do want to be your friend, and I wouldn't dream of hitting you!"

Arnie smiled unsurely. "Hey Bonehead!" A harsh voice called over the cafeteria. Arnie looked up quickly, then gathered his things. "What are you doing?" Katie asked. "Maybe I can get away from them today. If I start now, I can get away before they come over!" Arnie said hurriedly, stuffing his books into his backpack.

"No! Arnie, sit back down! I'm not afraid of bullies!" Katie exclaimed, standing up as 3 larger boys made their way over to the table. Arnie didn't want her to get bullied, he wanted to run. But it was too late for anything.

"Oh, look! Bonehead has a mascot! Gonna hid behind a girl, Smeghead?" Katie put her hands on her hips, but all Arnie did was shake his head. "Leave him alone!" Katie shouted, making everyone who wasn't already watching the show, look at them.

"Shut up, little girl. You threw in with the wrong crowd, if you want to hang with that dork."

"I can choose to be friends with whoever I want! You're just a big bully, and I'm not scared." Arnie held his breath, waiting for the explosion. He didn't have to wait that long. The main bully dived for her, knocking her down under the table. Katie screeched, tarring at his hair. The guy started beating her head on the cold ground. Arnie stepped up, and attempted to get him off her. His two goons (They always seemed to have two bodyguards), picked up Arnie, and threw him across the cafeteria. He knocked into a bench.

He could hear the rustling of teachers trying to get to the fight to stop it, but the crowd refused to part. Just as a teacher drew close, the bell rang, signaling the end of the day. The bullies were soon lost in the sea of people pushing and shoving toward the door.

Arnie made his way to where Katie was, sitting with her back to the bench. "Are you okay!" He asked, panicked. He held out his hand, and helped her up. Except for a shallow cut on her cheek, and her hair tangled up, she looked fine.

" 'm okay." She said, getting up and avoiding his eyes. He remembered what it felt like, the first time you were in a fight, being picked on by those bullies. You were hurt, inside and out, and very embarrassed. She looked it. The first time always scarred you for life, but for Arnie, the first time had been a long time ago.

Arnie saw his brothers at the entrance, and knew not to keep them waiting. "I have to go." He said awkwardly. She nodded, head down. As he moved to move away, he felt her hand on his arm. Looking back, he saw her eyes, hurt and holding back tears. "Keep in touch." She said, then shuffled off.

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Sorry about the age/schooling differences! Other great stories like this, that really get your tears going, are 'Not a Good Day' by Carrie Bassett and 'The Teenage Years of a Loser called Rimmer' by...not sure, actually. They made me cry. I've been bullied. Not hit, mind you. It may help that I'm a girl, but...I've been made fun of. But it isn't to the extent of poor Rimmer. 


	5. Home

Lost But Not Forgotten-Part 5

Howdy and Hello! What's that? Yes, I'm still writing this. It just takes me awhile to update, what with all of my other stories! This is one of my favorite fan fictions that I have done. Well, I hope you stuck with this...Here is Home Sweet Home, that is actually his personal hell. Like he said before (in this fan fiction), which was worse; school or home? Sad...

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"There you are, you goit. You're going to make us late. Hurry up." Frank sneered, as Arnie got close enough. 

Arnie, his head down, followed his three brothers home. He didn't look up as his brothers talked about girls, and other stuff; he was deep inside his mind, thinking and dreaming.

His brothers weren't as bad as the bullies, who physically hurt him, but they were pretty bad. They wouldn't let him join in on any of the conversations, and they would insult him more than hurt him. When they were going to go home for a holiday, the boys knew better than to hurt Arnold where their mother could see.

"You know you fancy Silla." John was saying. "Get off it, you prat!" Howard shot back, nudging his brother in the ribs.

The house came into view, after about 15 minutes of walking. They lived close to the boarding school.

The four boys walked up the stone path, with perfectly green grass and beautiful flowers on both sides. You could tell his family were neat freaks before you even stepped inside. The grass was perfectly even, and the flowers were in perfect bloom and color.

Their mother was waiting for them at the door. "Hello boys!" She said brightly, as she stepped aside to let them past. Arnie hurried past her, though he knew he couldn't escape her. "Arnold!" Mrs. Rimmer's sharp voice cut across the distance between them.

He turned around, to find her barring down on him, her hands on her hips and her lips pursed. "What have you done to your sweater! That is the 3rd sweater this year, boy! What, do you think we are made of money! Your other brothers don't go through this much clothes!" She said venomously.

Arnie wanted to say, 'They don't get bullied.' but he didn't dare. He let his head drop down. "Look at your elders while they are talking to you!" She said, her fingers wrenching his chin upward.

"Now, go get cleaned up for dinner. Just look at you! You're filthy. How dare you track mud into the house! It's like you spend your time in the dirt, instead of being in school, like your father and I pay for." She shook her head, then forced him up the stairs.

Arnie climbed miserably up to his small room. At least he had a room to himself.

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He laid on his bed, staring into space. His brothers were popular, smart, and perfect. The whole Rimmer family was perfect, with the exception of him. He was the bad egg. Arnie hated it when his mind thought about his life. 

He sat up, and looked out the window next to his bed. The stars in the blackness of night called to him, saying soothing things to calm him.

He was ripped from his daze as his door was wrenched open. "Are you deaf, Bonehead!" Howard roared at Arnie. "Dinner!"

Howard left, leaving Arnie alone in his temporary paradise.

He trudged down the stairs, listening to the clinks of the plates and silverware in the dinning room. Taking a deep breath, he walked inside.

"Where were you, Arnold! Dinner has already started!" His mother said disapprovingly. Arnie quietly made his way to his chair. His father looked in disgust at him, but at least his disgust was better hidden than most of the people in Arnie's life.

"Sorry." He mumbled, looking at his parents as his brothers stifled their sniggers. The talking started back up, that had nothing to do with Arnie. "So, son, you've gotten onto the football team? That's wonderful." His father said to Frank, who was beaming.

Arnie hardly ate anything during supper. His father and two brothers had already left the table. Howard still sat eating, stuffing his face. His mother picked up Arnie's plate, clicking her tongue. "You don't appreciate my cooking. Well, since that is the case, don't bother sticking around for dessert. Go to your room." She hissed in his ears.

Arnie silently made his way to his room. He was still hungry, starving actually. But his brothers had slipped Doterlly, a powder that made you cry, onto all of his food and in his drink. He knew that if he ate it, and cried, his brothers would tell everyone at school. He didn't need another reason for the bullies to pick on him, though it didn't matter. They would no matter what.

So he didn't dare eat. His brothers were also after his pie, and would have probably made him give it to them, so it was best he didn't get it at all.

Arnie made his way to his bed. Bending down, he looked under the bed, and loosened one of the floorboards made of wood. It slipped open with some difficulties, and finally Arnie found what he wanted. The light shone off the wrapper of a candy bar. It was his secret stash. This was the only bar he had, but he was hungry. He carefully opened it, then snapped off a small piece of chocolate. He nibbled at it as his thoughts wandered, as they so often did.

He guessed his mother hadn't told his father about what had happened at school yet, or else the dinner would have been much more unpleasant. He knew how his father would react when he found out about the detentions.

Like as if to read his mind, his father's muffled shout echoed up. 'I guess she just told him.' He quickly stashed his precious food away, and waited on the bed cross legged. The door banged open, and his father's large shadow covered the bed where Arnie was. The figure of his father towered above him.

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It was late at night, and most of the Rimmer family were asleep. Only Arnie was up. His ears still rung with the words his father had said. He had yelled for a good 30 minutes. A few mean names had snuck in, but the only physical pain was a slap on his face. That was good, compared to the other times his father had given him 'talks'. 

Arnie got out of the sheets, and sat up in bed. Quietly, he turned on a small light next to his bed. He knew that the light wasn't bright enough to attract attention outside his door, so no one would notice. They were all asleep, anyway.

Arnie leaned over his bed, and pried open a board off the wall. He reached in to another of his secret hiding places, and pulled out a book. It was a Harry Potter book, and Arnie felt like he could relate to Harry. Harry was badly mistreated by his family, too. Except, they never beat him, or yelled at him, or called him names like his family did. And, the family who did that to Harry were his aunt, uncle, and cousin. Arnie's 'real' family did that to him.

Arnie put the book back after he read a chapter. Harry had school trouble, too. At least he didn't get beat up. Though, he did have to face Lord Voldermort almost every year.

Arnie crawled to his open window, and stuck his foot out. Quickly, because he had done it so many times, he put his feet on the forgotten wooden ladder next to his window, and climbed down. His family had forgotten that it was there. But it helped Arnie escape.

He climbed down from the attic, which was his room, down to the next floor. He looked through the window. This room, like it always was, was empty. He slipped in, making sure not to make too much noise. His brother's room was right across the hall, and both of the doors were opened.

Arnie went quickly and quietly down the hall, and opened the back door. He rushed out to a large oak tree. The cool green dew on the grass felt good on Arnie's bare feet. He went to the other side of the tree, where it faced away from the house. He sat down, perfect so that if you looked out from the back door, you couldn't see him.

This place was his paradise. He wasn't called names here, or beaten up. He could be lost in his thoughts for hours. Arnie let his eyes wander up to the stars up above, and let himself drift.

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I know, this chapter was sort of a cross between 'Not a Good Day' and Harry Potter. What with, living in the attic, having secret places, and the whole thing about the sweater and the 'talk' from his father. I can't help it! You get influenced by what you read! And about the girl, Katie...that's SORT OF like 'The Teenage Years of a Loser called Rimmer'. Sort of! 

Oooh, I just re-read the chapters in this. Good, but I accidentally switched from 'Arnie' to 'Rimmer'. Sorry, they just call him that so much in the program that it comes naturally.


	6. School

Lost But Not Forgotten-Part 6

Howdy and Hello! School is going to start soon (next week) so I may slow down on writing/posting. You know, homework, getting good grades, hanging with my friends. But don't worry, I will write/post, just not so frequently.

Um...in 'Timeslides', it says Rimmer was in a boarding school, age 8. So, that's why I have him so young, at 7, and going to boarding school. I thought that they would go home for holidays, like in Harry Potter. Oh, and I didn't write about how Arnie's father quizzes them during dinner. Uh...It will come in another chapter. Just think of that dinner as a freak occurrence that hardly happens. Dinner with no questions attached to it. Dunno...but it's all about the angst!

* * *

Arnie jerked awake. He had fallen asleep outside. His back was stiff, and his knee was scrapped, but other than that, he was fine. Unless you count the hopelessness in his heart.

"Arnold!" Frank yelled from the house. Arnie was shielded by the tree, but the boys knew he liked that spot. Arnie heard thumping foot steps in the grass, and a moment later, Howard's tall figure stood looming over him. Everyone seemed to do that.

"Hey, Bonehead! Fall asleep out here! You're going to be late for school. We're all ready. Don't say I didn't worn you! So long, Bonehead!" Howard sniggered as he ran back to the house. His brothers knew better than to call Arnie 'Bonehead' inn front of their mother, but that didn't stop them from calling him that in private.

Arnie suspected that his mother would pretend not to have heard, if one of them called him that nickname.

But the odds were getting better for him. After this year, John would go off to be a test pilot in the Space Corps, with his perfect sweep of blonde hair. John was getting older, and had stopped making fun of Arnie so much. Maybe, some day, his other brothers would grow too old, and Arnie wouldn't have to go back to school. When Arnie moved out of his parents house, there would be no more bullies, harsh words, broken bones and bruises.

Arnie went back to the house, hoping to sneak in, get his stuff, and sneak out, without running into his parents.

"ARNOLD RIMMER!" Arnie winced. Mother was up.

"Where have you been! We thought you ran away, or something worse! You take advantage of our hospitality. Do you want your father to have a heart attack! Well?"

"No." He answered, barely above a whisper. "Fine. Get your stuff. Don't be late to school. We don't pay for you to go and get in trouble."

Arnie got his stuff, then trudged to school, ready for another bad day.

* * *

Arnie wasn't drawing on his paper. He wasn't looking out the window, or day dreaming. He was paying attention. It was his favorite class, History, and his favorite subject. They were learning about Napoleon, his favorite dictator. He already knew all of the information they were learning, (He had a book at home about Napoleon) but yet he listened to every word.

The test he had to pass was about early dictatorships, like Napoleon and Hitler. Arnie could do that.

The substitute bore on in a dead voice, that could make even ones own favorite subject seem dull. Once the teacher stopped talking, to hand out papers, Arnie's eyes wandered around the class.

He had been desperate to see Katie again. But, so far, he hadn't seen her. The substitute flipped down his packet test. He didn't need to see his grade, he had already been told. Looking down, sure enough, was the big bright letter 'F'.

Arnie sighed. He had to pass this next test.

* * *

Arnie sat at his usual table at lunch, paying no attention to his food. He looked around wildly for Katie. When his father had his 'talk' with him, what kept him standing was the thought of Katie. The girl who had stood up for him.

He felt a pressure on the bench seat, and looking over, he saw her. She smiled warmly at him. "Hi!" He said eagerly, which he quickly tried to hide. "Hey!" She smiled, biting down on her apple.

"How was your 'vacation'?" Arnie asked, hoping she wouldn't ask him. "If you can call one day a vacation. Still, it was good. How about you?" Arnie swallowed, then mumbled, "Okay."

She nodded, smiling, but looking down embarrassed. "You don't like going home?" She asked, pressing on the subject in a low voice. "No, not really. Everyone loves the rest of my family, except me. I go home sometimes, over the vacation periods, to avoid the bullies." He blushed. He had just revealed his weakness, she would say he was a coward.

"Yeah, but every student had to go home yesterday. I heard they had to re-do some of the rooms, so they had to get the kids out." Arnie nodded, thankful to get of the subject.

"Well, next time there is a vacation, we won't go home, and we could stay here, together." Arnie nodded. He had a friend.

Familiar foot-falls of boots made Arnie look up. Dave Killerthy was coming up fast. Without a thought, Arnie grabbed Katie's hand, and led her away, before Dave could see them. He took some familiar twists and turns, until they came to a door. He opened it, letting the sweet scent of outside and nature drift in.

"Are we aloud to go outside?" Katie asked unsurely. "Yeah." He led her to a large tree, and lopped down in the cool shade. "This tree is just like a tree I have at home. That's why I like it. I go to it when..." Arnie said, running his fingers through the long cool grass.

"This in nice, nice and peaceful." Katie commented. The shrill bell rang across the grounds to where they were. "Hey, you want to meet tonight?" Arnie asked, shocked by his own courage.

"Okay." She said, picking up her stuff and walking back to the school with him. He was about to ask when, when the crowd of people ripped them apart. She was carried away, and he saw her look back at him.

* * *

Midnight Meeting! Ha-Ha! Well, since in Dimension Jump, they said little Arnold was 7, and in Timeslides he was 8, I'm going to have to do more than one year. Confusing? You're telling me! So, next chapter is when the two friends get together. Next chapter after that is, well, something to do with Dimension Jump and Ace. Then, since I'm staying true to the timeline, Timeslides and stuff. 


	7. Meeting

Lost But Not Forgotten-Part 7

Howdy and Hello! I hope you're not bored of this story, and I know, it is dragging a bit. I swear, the end is near! It's coming! No...don't look at the end of this page to look for the 'The End' words. We still have a few more chapters left!

* * *

Arnie kept his eyes clenched close as his dormitory room mates snored. After classes, he had waited for Katie, but they had not said where. So, since he had asked her by the tree, he had waited by the tree. But she hadn't come. Just some bullies.

When Arnie could finally count 4 snores, he slowly got out of his covers, and stood up. He was fully clothed, and ready to go find Katie. The curfew wasn't for another 30 minutes, so Arnie had time. His room mates always bunked off early, and expected him to, too.

He was cutting the curfew close, but he had to see Katie. The only time he could see her was at lunch.

Arnie walked through the dark hallways. He made his way to the door that led to the tree. In the dark, he fumbled for the door handle. He found it, and tried to yank it open, but something was attached to it, and holding him back. His fingers crossed over the padlock, and he sighed.

Now, even if she was up at this time of night, he didn't know where to meet her. He walked up the main hallway, heading for the cafeteria. She might be at their table. When he rounded a corner, he felt himself being jammed against the hard walls.

"Hey, Bonehead! What are you doing up this late? Almost curfew!" Dave's hard voice whispered. Arnie felt his t-shirt being pulled away. His captor, Dave, pulled him somewhere, than gave him a violent yank. He shoved him to the ground. Arnie scooted back.

Arnie scrambled as far away as he could. Dave kicked him in the stomach, sending him flying backwards. Dave snickered, than ran off.

Arnie backed up into a corner, breathing heavily. He almost jumped out of his skin as his body touched another warm form.

"Aaah!" Arnie screeched, jumping away from the occupied corner. "Are you alright, Arnie!"

He moved forward, bringing Katie into the light. She saw him get beat up. Great.

"I was looking for you!" Arnie said, trying to catch his breath. "Well, we didn't say when or where, so I didn't know. We better hurry, we're past the curfew.

As they walked, Arnie asked a question that had been bothering him. "Why were you in a corner?" She scoffed, then shook her head sadly. "Hiding."

"From the bullies?" He asked in an understanding voice. "Yes." She said quietly. "They chased me." He gave her a hug, which she leaned in to.

"I'll take you back to your dormitory." He offered, leading her across a corner. Wait...he didn't know where he was going.

"Um, I don't know where..." She smiled, squeezed his hand, then led him to her dormitory. Once they got to the door, they hugged again. "See you tomorrow." He said, then without thinking, gave her a kiss on the cheek. He blushed a scarlet red afterwards. She smiled, then kissed him on the cheek.

* * *

"What!"

"You can't do that!"

The substitute rose her hand, silencing the rebellious class. "I'm sorry. The last test of this year is a pop test, over everything you have learned this year."

The kids grumbled, Arnie among them. He had studied for the dictators. But he hadn't listened that well this year.

The new teacher laid a thin packet on his desk. Arnie gulped. He had to pass this test.

* * *

I didn't know how many kids were in a dormitory. In Harry Potter, it was 5, so...

I also didn't know if boarding schools had both boys and girls. In another fan fiction, they weren't co-ed. But, I planned this school like Harry Potter, so...

If you are bullied, because I know you read this because you can relate and find strength in it. Like I said, I'm made fun of. A song that helps me is called 'Dream Big', by Ryan Shupe and the Rubberband. It's a country song, but it helps. Also, there is an old song called 'Don't Laugh at Me', but I don't know who sings it. They are really good, and lift your spirits!


	8. Home AgainDimensions

Lost But Not Forgotten-Part 8

Hey! Sorry it took so LONG to post this! I don't know what the problem was! I know where I'm going. I guess it's all my other stories. Ah well, to have an active imagination, 50+ stories, new stories and chapters, and a lot of ideas. Okay, this chapter is sort of two perspectives, but you will understand, and is sort of based on the RD book, Backwards. I think it is impossible for me not to get inspiration from something that isn't mine! But at least the differences are subtle and enough to be different, and not copywriting. Next chapter, the 'Timeslides' scene, and the last chapter, who is lost. Yes, the end is coming! Unless I decide to make it longer, but I'm running out of ideas.

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Arnie walked to his house, actually humming. He was pretty happy, considering. John had graduated, and was off to join the Space Corps. He didn't even bully Arnie before he left. Maybe people being nice to him wasn't a totally radical idea. Plus, his 'relationship' with Katie was going great. She was his first crush, and he thought she felt the same way. Every time there was any free time, the two could be found together. Eating, studying in the library, playing in the rec room, or hiding from bullies. Even bullies had laid off lately.

He entered the house with no mud, no torn jacket, and nothing that could make his mother mad at him. "Hello, Arnold!" Arnie's mother smiled, and hugged him. She pulled off, then looked down at wonder at him. "It seems like you've grown a few inches! Your father will be so pleased! No need for the traction machine!" Arnie beamed at his mother, proud, for one of the first times in his life, of his accomplishment, and he finally did something right.

"Dinner's ready!" (AU:I wanted her to be human, so she is nice on occasion...)

Arnie went to the old family wooden table, and nodded politely to his father. Things were looking up.

"Arnold, do sit down. Have you been studying?" Arnie nodded his head, nervously looking down at the meal in the middle of the table. Chicken and all kinds of poultry. He had spent hours after school and bed time staying up studying out of the astronavigation book his father had given him. Maybe he would actually answer a question right, after laboring to study and remember the information.

"What is a quasar, and why is it red?"

Arnie cursed under his breath. He had been studying that very thing last night before he passed out. "It's red because the iron oxide clings to the pieces of dust and other debris in the quasar, making it red. It's like the planet Mars. The rust clings to the surface, so the atmosphere portrays it to be red. (AU: Not sure that's right, but...)" Arnie hoped that his father would forget about the first part of the question, because he had given so much information.

"Half right, so I guess you can eat. But no dessert." Arnie smiled in relief, and started eating. Conversation started, not about him, of course, but there was a friendly air in the room, and no tension. Life could be looking up...

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Arnie hung upside down from a tree as his mother called for him. Frank and Howard had run out as soon as they heard her. Well, he had wanted to play with them, and not all of the bullying had gone away.

"I'm here, mother!" he called out.

"Ah. You know your father and I have been terribly worried about your progress at school." She said, watching him curiously as he hung upside down.

"Yes, Mother."

"You just haven't been getting the marks we think you're capable of."

"No, Mother."

"Well, a few days ago I went to see the headmaster. He said it might be in your best interest if you were to be kept back a year -- if you were to stay in Junior D for another year." She said, watching for his response.

"Oh."

"Is that all you've got to say?"

"Well, it is quite difficult to talk when you're tied upside-down to a tree."

"Have you been playing with Howard and Frank?"

"Yes."

"Well, what on Earth were you playing?"

"Well, I said it was such a shame we hadn't got a swing, and they said they could make one. But I didn't realize they was going to make one out of me."

"Well, that's nice, darling. Anyway, your father had a word with the headmaster and we explained how much we wanted you to be a test pilot in the Space Corps, like your brother John, and how this could damage your chances. We got this this morning." Arnie sighed. He knew what was in it.

"You realize how important this is. This decision could completely alter the whole course of your life." She said, tearing open the letter.

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Arnie closed his eyes. It was his test scores. He had done good in History, okay in English, and horrible in Math, Science and Gym. The test he had had in history, though, hadn't been so good. He had to pass that test to pass the grade. He had done good with the dictators and war parts, but the finding America stuff had bored him to death. The history of Io had also been boring, but he had passed that part. But overall on the test, he was on the border line of passing and failing. He had flunked Junior D. His mother looked up at him. "Your Headmaster has agreed to let you go on into the next higher level, as long as you promise to try harder."

Arnie let out a sigh of relief.

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Another Arnie in another dimension (Ace) was at that same moment. "He thinks you should stay back a year, to get a better grasp." Arnie didn't let the tears out.

Going back to school, though, was better. All of the bullies had passed, and none of the new people knew him. He tried to act a braver person, and a better person. He did better in classes, and made more friends.

He was excelling, while our Arnie's life just got worse.

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PLEASE READ THE NEXT TWO AUTHOR'S NOTES!

I just want to say thank you to; (in order of reviewing) BackForBreakfast, SenatorSolo, Sunrise over the Tango factory, reddwarfaddict, Zombie Kitty, and cazflibs! I love you guys' writing, and I'm honored that you actually read mine! (Oh, by the way... Zombie Kitty, reddwarfaddict, and SenatorSolo-I put up a new chapter on 'The Banana' story. Chapter 6. Just in case you didn't know, because I know you guys reviewed on it before!)

If someone can clear this up for me, I'll be really grateful. I've heard these myths or rumors about these mythical creatures called...Beta-readers. They read over someone else's writing, and check for spelling, grammar, and punctuation errors, and sometimes even plot development! Do the 'beta-readers' read everything the person wants to post, or just what they like to read? And do these strange beings actually exist! I'm just wondering. I read a lot of people's fan fictions, and some say they have 'beta-readers'. In case any of you lovely reviewers are interested... l (wink) I'm just curious.

(You know, I saw a cartoon in the paper, that relates to me. This little girl was writing a action/adventure story, and her two main characters were about to be eaten by a dinosaur. Then, we see the actual little girl. Her 'sidekick' says that before writing she should actually have an idea for the ending. Then she tells him that he isn't helping. That is so like me. The story moves smoothly when I know where I'm going, but I get stuck if I don't know.)

(I want to be a writer when I 'grow up'...and do you know what the perfect song for me is! It's a Beatles' song called 'Paperback Writer'. That's sort of like me, too. Never-ending stories...)

Sorry, I have a lot of author's notes today!


	9. Lost but not Forgotten

Lost But Not Forgotten-Part 9

Well people, this is finally it. Sorry it took so long, I got over my head with all of my other fics. This chapter is LONG, so I hope you like it, 'cause that don't happen often. I'm happy and sad to say that this IS the last chapter! I really hope you liked it, felt a new sympathy and liking towards Rimmer if you didn't before, and you like my writing SO much, that you go read my other fics! wink

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Arnie looked up at the ceiling as if it was the answer to life, and if he blinked he would miss it. Sleep didn't come to him tonight, even thought it had knocked out his 4 other roommates. It wasn't if he was scared of bullies coming to kidnap him in the middle of the night. The day had been what would be normal and boring for regular people. He had not been beat up, picked on, and he didn't have any tests that could make or break him. He had mostly been ignored today, and the only thing wrong was that Katie had not been at lunch. He hadn't seen her all day, and he was starting to get worried, but not worried enough to stop him from sleeping.

It wasn't like most nights, where he would lay in bed, silently crying, and trying to keep his sobs from waking up his roommates. Eventually, he would drain himself numb and dry, and pass out. Today was a different matter, though. No tears, no hidden scars from the day, nothing. That was what bothered Arnie. He had no reason to be up, but yet he was. He had the strangest feeling that if he went to sleep, he wouldn't wake up the same person, and that thought scared him.

Slowly, Arnie drifted into a light slumber, holding his Army Teddy tightly with his boxing gloved-hands.

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Arnie woke up suddenly, not knowing the reason why. The room was still dark, though a silver light was shinning around. Still blurry from sleeping, Arnie heard a deep voice quietly whisper to him, "Pssst. Wake up!"

Arnie struggled up against the heaviness of the suffocating blankets, rubbing his boxing gloves over his eyes. His hands were tingling from lack of blood to his hands, so he started shaking them. "What is it? Who are you?"

Looking up, he saw a middle aged man, about 30, with wire-curly brown hair, crisp clothing, and a large metallic 'H' on his forehead. Arnie tilted his head to one side. This strange man had the same flaring nostrils that Arnie started getting a few days ago. The man looked over his shoulder, as something metal clattered to the ground. It sounded like his nameplate on the end of his bed, the one that said his name, but now said 'Bonehead'. The man, making sure the other boys were still asleep, continued on. "Look, don't be afraid. I'm going to make you rich."

Arnie saw Fred 'Thickie' Holden sit up in his bed, listening in, but the older man didn't seem to notice. "All you've got to do is listen very, very carefully. Right, this is the plan. You're going to invent a thing called 'The Tension Sheet'." Arnie nodded, not knowing what else to do. He hoped this was a dream.

"Pension Sheet?" Fred asked, looking intently at the stranger.

"T! T! T! Tension, TENsion sheet! Will you shut up? I'm trying to talk to the kid!" Arnie gulped, watching the man who looked like his older brother. There was subtle differences, besides the age, and that hard-set jaw looked eerily familiar. "Are you listening? They're little sheets of paper with lots of air bubbles in them." The man continued.

"Like the kind you get in packing paper?"

"Look, do you mind, Holden? This is a private conversation. Go back to sleep!" The hologram yelled at Fred, who snuggled back into the covers, giving them the evil eye.

The hologram continued to Arnie, "They're exactly the same as the ones you get in..." He glared at Fred, then whispered, "packing paper, but you paint them red."

"Why red?" Fred asked, showing that he hadn't fallen asleep yet.

"Because it helps people relax! Will you shut up, I'm trying to make the kid rich!" Arnie tried to write down the hologram's ideas on a notepad, knowing that he wouldn't remember tomorrow. "You'd write better if you took off your boxing gloves. Now, have you got all that?"

"I fink so" Arnie said, struggling his gloves off, then writing down the idea in his little copperplate handwriting.

"First thing tomorrow, take the idea down to the patent office."

"I can't. Not first fing in the morning. I've got extra rugby practice because I'm so wet." Arnie talked through the dry cotton that seemed to be in his mouth. Talking once you've been sleeping is smeggin' hard.

"Damn!" The hologram whispered to himself, then told Arnie, "Alright, then -- lunchtime. Take it at lunchtime, okay? I've got to go now." The stranger stood up from his kneeling position, giving Arnie a sad smile. "Don't mess this up." His voice seemed almost pleading. He sounded as if this affected him directly. Arnie didn't know why this man had told him this, but something about the man made Arnie agree.

"No, sir." The man gave him a weird salute with loops, then saluted him at the end. The guy walked off, not noticing the look of pure shock on Arnie's face. Arnie himself had thought of that salute only a few days ago. How did this man know it!

Arnie fell asleep again, not worrying about contingency errors and future echoes of himself.

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After rugby practice, and after his morning classes, Arnie practically skipped to the cafeteria, since he _was_ the captain of the skipping team.

Usually, students weren't let off campus during lunch, but Arnie had a plan. He would sneak out during lunch, not like anyone would miss him, and go across the street to the patent office to turn in the stranger's 'invention'. In art today, Arnie had snuck in some packing paper, and spent the whole class period coloring it red with crayons, when he was supposed to be drawing and coloring a 'serene paradise'. Ah well, he could always do the assignment tonight, then turn it in late tomorrow.

He slipped out of the door that led to the tree, noting that no one had noticed anything out of the ordinary. He let out a breath he hadn't known he'd been holding, and started down the path that led away from his sanctuary tree, and to the front of the school. Suddenly, a gush of chilly air blew past him, making the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end. He had a feeling in his gut that something bad was about to happen, but tried to shake it off. He glanced behind him to see if anyone was following him. He had the weirdest feeling that he was being watched.

As he rounded the corner to the front of the school, a scream met his ears, and the sight before him made his blood run cold. A group of five bullies, easily the biggest guys in the school, were in a circle, looking down at a small figure in the middle. The person was crumpled to the ground, long brown hair tangled in front of the face, so much so that Arnie couldn't tell who it was. The hair was long, though, so Arnie assumed it was a girl. Through the bush of tousled hair, a set of blue innocent eyes looked up at him in fear and hope. It was the eyes that shook Arnie back to reality, those same blue eyes that made a friend with him so long ago at lunch. The same eyes that he had been thinking more and more about as the days rolled by. The eyes of the only girl who thought Arnie was worth the time to talk to. The eyes of an angel. The eyes of Katie.

Another bully kicked her in the stomach, as they took turns kicking her. She whimpered, but didn't fight back. She only tried to block her face with her arms, as the pain rained down on her. Just seeing her so beaten, struck a chord inside of Arnie. Something snapped in him, and all reason and self-preservation flew out of his mind.

With a primal roar, Arnie jumped on one of the bullies' backs, and started beating his fists down on it. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw that the other bullies suddenly forgot about Katie, and were diving towards him. His small moment of victory was short lived, as all thinking capabilities raced out of his mind. The first blow was towards his stomach.

Arnie didn't think about how the back he was on had suddenly disappeared, or how he had ended up on the ground, in the center of their little circle. It's hard to think when all you can feel is pain, deep searing pain that laced its way down your feet. Before the initial pain had gone, another hit rocked him, this time on his leg. He screamed, seeing hot white dots in front of his eyes. A cracking sound snapped in the air, and the sudden rush of blood towards his leg and the numbness alerted him that something was broken. 'No duh!' he wanted to say to himself, but a sharp stinging on his mouth stopped that train of thought. He tasted blood on his lips, but that was the least of his problems now. His sense of reality was floating away, and he forgot who he was and where he was. All he could see was the guys above him, and all he could feel was the cool gravel of the sidewalk pressing against his hot and scrapped back. But mostly, all he could feel was pain. His world revolved around the hurt that seemed to come from everywhere on his body. In the background, he could hear a girl screaming, and glanced Katie screaming, tears running down her face as she tried to pull one of the bullies off of him.

A persistent banging on his right temple drew his attention, and the rhythmic beating was lulling him to sleep. A hand drew his head up, only to bang it back down on the concrete, as Arnie slowly lost consciousness. As the numbness started taking him over, he felt something inside himself die, slowly disappearing from his psyche. Then, darkness took him.

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Something inside Arnie died that day. The following weeks showed the subtle change from Arnie to Rimmer. The sweet boy who had tried to save his girl was slowly being overtaken by a bitter guy who made himself feel better by putting others down. After the fight, his grades had dipped down so low into the hole that there was no chance of bringing it back up. He no longer took the pain and made it into sadness, he made the hurt shape him into something that even he didn't like. He wouldn't even look at Katie, no matter how hard she tried. He was broken, and she couldn't fix him. He wanted nothing to do with anybody, and if anybody tried to work their way past his defenses, they would be met with hostility. Arnie was dead, and the Rimmer who took over didn't even like himself.

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Rimmer looked out of the window, watching the Terrorform planet shrink into the distance. The memories of all his neuroses, of all of the tiny graves still haunted his mind. The betrayal of the others saying they didn't mean all of the hugging stuff when they were trying to escape hurt him, but it fueled his self-loathing beast, the beast that didn't think he deserved anything good. He didn't deserve their friendship. He didn't deserve Katie. Looking back at those graves that had been there since he was 7, he saw that the good kid in him was dead. Arnie had died in that fight, all those years ago. He still felt traces of that little boy in him every once in awhile, but Rimmer always took control; took him over completely. Arnie may be dead and lost, but Rimmer still remembered him. He hadn't forgotten that innocent boy before the monster ate him. He would always remember that long forgotten boy, and hope that he would show up again; fool's hope for a lost cause.

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First of all, BIG thank you to my Beta-reader, reddwarfaddict! I've always wanted one, and now I have one! I'm so tickled, I'm going past pink and into crimson. I love her work, too. Also, thank you to my reviewers, who kept me writing this. I hope that the wait wasn't too long, and I still have some of my old readers still interested enough to read this chapter.

I'm sorry if I got my contingence wrong. I think he jumped from being 7, to being 8, but please understand that my story wouldn't flow like that. I can't remember what episode Rimmer said he was captain of the skipping team, and I can't find it, so if that's wrong, please let me know!

"Rimmer is returned to solid, human form at the end of 'Timeslides'. Some fans have theorized that visiting his younger self here meant that, when Rimmer traveled back in Stasis Leak, his older self reacted better to his glimpse of the future and put himself in stasis." That's a quote from the 'Watch Out For...' area in the 3rd Series DVD booklet. I totally agree with this, and that's why I wrote that scene. Just thought I'd let you know...Anyway.

Author's Notes over actual story chapter: I just wanted you to think that things might actually be going right for Rimmer, then something horribly bad happens.


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